While some post-Mormons lose all taste for anything religious, others very much miss the fellowship/community/inspiration/support that they once received on Sunday as LDS Church members. Over the past several years, the idea of “secular churches” that meet on Sunday has begun to arise, inspired in part by Alain de Botton’s TED talk entitled “Atheism 2.0,” along with his accompanying book entitled, “Religion for Atheists.”
As we contemplate our respective Mormon transitions, I believe that it is very important that we become aware of existing Sunday groups/initiatives. So….here are a few existing post-Mormon-friendly or secular-friendly Sunday service groups that we know about:
- Sunday Assembly: The Sunday Assembly was started in London, U.K. by two British comedians (Sanderson and Pippa). The Sunday Assembly has been operating for a few years now, and has the greatest number of worldwide congregations to date. Here is a list of them. Last I checked, many of these communities are rather fledgling, but I hear really good things about some of them. My understanding is that Sunday Assembly’s model is to only have one or two (max) Sunday services a month, and then to encourage the creation of “smoups” (small groups like book clubs, hiking clubs, dinner groups, etc.) that meet with more frequency to help build community. During the (usually) monthly Sunday service, an hour is dedicated to an inspirational sacrament-like meeting (with inspirational or educational TED-like talks and lots of singing/dancing/celebrating), and then the 2nd hour is dedicated to socializing (I think they call it “Tea and Cake” or something to that effect…U.S. folks might call it a “coffee,” meet and greet,” or a “linger longer”). A contingency of post-Mormons (Micah Nickolaisen, Steve and Chris Holbrook, Alison Udall, Christine Jeppsen Clark and others) traveled to Atlanta a few months ago to learn more about the Sunday Assembly organization, and while we really respect the group and what they are trying to do, we decided that for now, we weren’t sure that SA’s culture and franchising model would work with the post-Mormon audience. That said, we think Sunday Assembly is awesome and we are always open to learning more.
- Oasis: Oasis was started by Mike Aus (a former Christian preacher of some kind) and my new friend Helen Stringer. Oasis has at least two thriving congregations that I know of — one in Kansas City and one in Houston. It looks like DFW and Boston are trying to start groups as well. I don’t know a lot about Oasis at this point, other than that they believe that weekly Sunday services are a key to success (vs. meeting once or twice a month). I also know that Helen Stringer is a mover and a shaker — which is important for any growing community. 🙂 I will be traveling to Kansas City to visit KC Oasis the weekend of January 22nd, 2016. Can’t wait! Also, the Oasis Network has a podcast that you should check out. Finally, I would love to bring Helen Stringer to SLC/Logan soon (as schedules permit). See Time Magazine’s coverage of Oasis for more info.
- Community of Christ: Of course Community of Christ is religious/non-secular, but I have to mention them because I know that they are working very hard to be secular-friendly. I know that Salt Lake City has a thriving congregation that is welcoming to post-Mormons (under the leadership of Seth Bryant). I also know that John Hamer is doing amazing work in Toronto with his CofC congregation, and that Walnut Creek’s CofC congregation is doing great things. I have also heard that the Phoenix area might be starting a post-Mormon-friendly congregation very soon….which is very exciting.
- Unitarian Universalists: I would be remiss to not mention at least five very post-Mormon friendly UU congregations in Utah…namely: First Unitarian Church of Salt Lake City, South Valley UU Society, Cache Valley UU’s (up here in Logan) led by my dear friend Dr. Dave Christian, Utah Valley UU’s (attended by my good friend Tom Kimball I believe), and UU Church of Ogden (which I know pretty much nothing about, but am sure it’s awesome).
- Fellowship of Freethought: The Dallas/Fort Worth area appears to have a really thriving group called Fellowship of Freethought that is clearly worth checking out.
At some point, I think it might be useful to add a special directory to Mormon Spectrum which separates out post-Mormon-friendly Sunday services from traditional MSpectrum in-person communities — just so that people can find these groups if they are specifically seeking Sunday service-type groups.
While we are very excited about the possibility of the Community of Good (a fledgling Mormon-inspired attempt at forming secular Sunday services), the Community of Good initiative is very new, and in many areas it might make much more sense to join existing groups vs. attempting to create something from scratch — especially if there is not a critical mass of post-Mormons in your area interested in a Sunday church-like service. It is also very possible that if one of the initiatives above takes off, that Community of Good could choose to merge with one of them at a future point (as it makes sense). Finally, it is perfectly fine to consider starting a Community of Good even in areas where some of these other groups exist. We just believe that it is important to know what is around you first, and to make informed decisions accordingly.
What groups are you aware of that we have missed here? Please share in the comments below. Thanks!
Movies are magical.
As a medium, the motion picture is as if photography, theater and music got together and had a beautiful love child. Few forms of artistic expression provide an immersive, sensory experience more so than the cinematic arts. Movies have become woven into the fabric of our cultures and societies. Movies remind us of the past, allow us to visit fantastic worlds, help us understand each other, and teach us about the world around us.
I’ve always loved movies. While growing up, films like Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Superman mesmerized me and unleashed my imagination. As a teenager, I found inspiration and hope through classics like Rocky, Rudy and Field of Dreams. I must have watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Tommy Boy and Billy Madison a hundred times with my high school friends. I remember the first stop I made after returning from my mission was the video rental store so I could binge on all the movies I had missed for two years.
For movie nerds like me, being a Mormon kid in Utah came with a lot of anxiety. While I wanted to explore and experience the full depth and rawness that the medium offered, I knew that watching R-rated movies was all but forbidden. We all experienced different interpretations of this “guideline” in our homes growing up. My wife Stefanie, for example, was allowed to watch certain R-rated movies from a very young age. I also knew Mormon kids who weren’t allowed to watch any movies more risqué than PG.
In my home R-rated movies were a rare treat. I remember watching my first R-rated movie, Darkman, one night with my dad when I was 8. I felt so cool and grown-up. During my tween and early teen years my parents would infrequently grant me permission to watch some soft R movies — as long as there weren’t any boobs and the cuss words were minimal. Graphic Violence? Eh, for some reason that wasn’t as big of a deal. In high school watching R-rated movies was an exciting act of rebellion, but it always came with the steep price of guilt. It’s been my guilty pleasure ever since.
The truth is, we all missed out. By any objective standard, many of the best movies ever made are rated R. Now, I have all the usual reservations about the sexism, gratuitous violence, and other harmful messages that we are pummeled with by all the mass media we consume. But here’s the thing . . . I’m a grown-ass man. R-rated movies are intended for mature audiences — people 17 and older. They are intended for an audience that is equipped to handle the intense emotional, mental, and sensory input that many of these films beautifully and artfully deliver.
If you’re reading this, more than likely your new approach and perspective on Mormonism has opened you to a variety of once prohibited experiences. And if you’re like me, you’ve wanted to make up for lost time. So here’s a short list of my 30 favorite R-rated films. Some of the films on this list, like the Matrix, American Beauty, or V for Vendetta will resonate with Mormon misfits like us. Most of them however, I simply feel should be required viewing. Classics like The Godfather, Schindler’s List, and Pulp Fiction are part of the broader zeitgeist of our society. Comedies like The Big Lebowski and Life of Brian will provide a cinematic experience that will make you laugh and blow your mind. Apocalypse Now and The Shawshank Redemption will change your life.
Okay, that’s more than enough cinema geekery for one blog post. I’m not pretending this is any kind of comprehensive or definitive list, and there are dozens of other films that could or should be added. I’d maybe call this a starting point. So, please use the comments here to share your favorites.
In no particular order:
- The Shawshank Redemption
- The Godfather
- The Godfather Part II
- Schindler’s List
- Pulp Fiction
- Fight Club
- The Matrix
- The Silence of the Lambs
- The Usual Suspects
- Saving Private Ryan
- American History X
- The Green Mile
- Memento
- Gladiator
- Apocalypse Now
- Alien
- American Beauty
- Braveheart
- L.A. Confidential
- Inglorious Basterds
- Good Will Hunting
- Die Hard
- V for Vendetta
- The Big Lebowski
- Fargo
- The Terminator
- Terminator 2: Judgment Day
- Life of Brian
- The Departed
- Children of Men
If you were to believe the incessant barrage of commentary nowadays by politicians, news outlets, and even some of your Facebook friends, you’d have a dismal view of the world and humanity. Every time the doom-and-gloom chatter picks up in my newsfeed, I remember one of the most informative, insightful, and inspiring books I’ve ever read: The Evolution of God by Robert Wright. In a nutshell, Wright explains how human conceptions of God have evolved as human societies have progressed. And the good news is that the overall trajectory of human conceptions about God is positive. That’s a big deal, because human ideas about God are a reflection of humankind. So when we see humankind embracing better versions of God, that’s a sign that humankind is improving.
If you had lived in ancient times, the “God” you would have worshiped would have been one or more of several competing gods. You would have believed your God’s power and authority was limited to your tribe and/or a specific geographic territory. Most significantly, you would have believed your duty to treat your neighbor ethically extended only to your fellow tribe members. So when your tribe’s political or religious leader told you that God had commanded your tribe to go murder and pillage a neighboring tribe that worshipped a different god, you wouldn’t think there was anything evil or wrong about that.
Thankfully, humankind has graduated to better versions of God (with a few rare exceptions that get a highly disproportionate amount of news coverage today). Over time as tribes became chiefdoms, chiefdoms became kingdoms, kingdoms became empires, and empires became states, smaller groups of people with long histories of fighting each other were forced to learn how to peacefully live and work together within newer, bigger boundaries. That process wasn’t easy, and it was often bloody. We humans have a knack for taking two steps forward and one step back. But when we look at the big picture that has unfolded over millennia, in spite of the wars and atrocities we humans have inflicted upon each other, there is a clear overall trend toward peace and progress.
Unsurprisingly, as human beings have learned to peacefully live and work together within increasingly diverse populations, human perspectives on God have followed suit. In the West, the old tribal bloodthirsty gods were replaced by a universal God who was believed to be the Father of all humankind. And with that increase in the scope of God’s power, authority, and concern came a corresponding change in thinking about who our brothers and sisters are, and about who we must treat ethically: Everyone.
We are now living in an age when humankind is progressing at a faster rate than many religions can keep up with. Today people in the West are leaving religion because the current versions of God aren’t being updated quickly enough. Even the 20th Century versions of God are considered outdated. People are abandoning gods who continue to promote sexism and homophobia. And when people are abandoning gods because those gods are seen as being too unloving and inhumane to be worthy of worship, that’s a very good sign for humanity.
Fortunately, we have solid grounds to hope and expect that humankind’s positive trajectory will continue, because the reason we’ve collectively trended toward peaceful coexistence is grounded in cold hard reality. One might even call it a “natural law”: it is the simple fact that cooperation raises our collective standard of living more than conflict does.
In ancient times when zero-sum, win-lose thinking prevailed, people thought the best growth strategy was to massacre a neighboring people and steal their land, riches, and livestock. But over time we have increasingly embraced non-zero-sum, win-win thinking; we’ve discovered that when we peacefully do business and trade with each other, rather than fighting and trying to steal each other’s land and stuff, we create win-win outcomes that in the long term bring more prosperity to all sides than even what the victor would have gained through warfare and conquest.
That hard reality isn’t going away: we will always gain more by cooperating than we could ever gain by fighting. As we human beings often do, we will likely forget that important truth from time to time and bash our heads against each other. But the good news is that no matter how many times we forget, we will inevitably re-learn the unalterable truth that peaceful cooperation—not conflict—is what maximizes our survival and well-being as a species. Which is why I see an ever better and brighter future for humanity no matter how loudly and frequently we’re told to expect the opposite.
For Margi and me, one of the greatest joys in our progressive/post-Mormon life has been redirecting our LDS tithing funds to various destinations that we feel deserve support, including:
- Organizations like Women for Women, Heifer International, Smile Train, or Water.org.
- Family, friends, or community members in need of support (i.e., for food, a medical procedure, car repair)
- Teachers of our children who do a particularly good job in a given year (and who are clearly underpaid for their work).
This “New Tithing” (as I’m calling it here) has been incredibly rewarding to us for a number of reasons, including:
- It allows us to give to areas where we feel there is a compelling, pressing need, and where we are more confident that the money will be used to help the poor/needy.
- If done properly (e.g., without expectation of payback), such giving can often help to strengthen relationships with family, friends, and community members.
I’m curious – For those of you who are progressive or Post-Mormon, I am very curious to know:
- To what extent have you chosen to continue paying a form of “New Tithing,”
- What are your favorite “New Tithing” destinations?
- What benefits/joys/blessings have you noted from these efforts?
I look forward to your stories, experiences, and ideas!