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Wednesday, 10 February 2016 / Published in Blog Archive, Inspiration, Philosophy, Spirituality

There’s an old saying that “talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”  For me, that also describes what talking about God is like.  Nothing exposes the arbitrary and ambiguous nature of our language better than the topic of God, and I find myself wanting to blow up the dictionary and create a new language.  It’s frustrating to realize that in the 21st Century we still haven’t come up with a better, clearer vocabulary for such an important topic.

The word “God” comes from the Proto-Germanic word guthan, which comes from the Proto-Indo-European word ghut, which likely comes from the root gheu, which means “to call” or “to invoke”.  So, the etymology of the word “God” suggests that its original definition was “something or someone that is called upon or invoked”.

Of course, as various religions and churches have arisen over millennia, each has taken a crack at defining “God” in its own way.  As a result, unless you’re among your fellow congregants, whenever you talk about “God” you can seldom be certain that the meaning you intend and the meaning your listener hears are the same.

And because we’re dealing with the English language, which was immersed in Western monotheism in its development, we get some bizarre results whenever English-speakers attempt to classify and discuss Eastern religions.  For example, English-speaking scholars often refer to Buddhism as a “non-theistic (i.e., atheistic) religion”.  That’s right, a religion without God, which of course seems nonsensical because every definition of the word “religion” in the English language presumes the existence of God. (See here.)

When it comes to the topic of God, I often feel like I’m in a linguistic mine field whether I’m talking to a devout Evangelical Christian or a devout atheist.  If a devout Evangelical Christian were to ask me, “Do you believe in God?”, I’d assume he was referring to his particular version of God, in which case I’d have to say “No.”  But if a devout atheist were to ask me, “Don’t you find the notion of God absolutely preposterous?”, I’d likely say something like, “Well, it depends on which notion of God you’re talking about, because there are some notions of God that I not only don’t find preposterous, but that I regard as undeniable fact.”  And so the Evangelical Christian labels me an atheist, while the atheist labels me a theist.

But being mislabeled isn’t what primarily concerns me.  What concerns me is that we can and should be capable of having more intelligent discussions about the topic of God, but we can’t seem to be able to do so because our vocabulary is so mucked up.

We have to go all the way back to ancient Greece to find a better word to use when talking about the big, important questions that both religion and science have long been asking.  That word is Logos, which the philosopher Heraclitus used to refer to the “principles of order”, or “laws” or “logic” behind the Universe and everything within it.

Logos is a non-controversial, neutral term that gets to the heart of what both scientists and theologians have long been trying to understand: the laws that govern the Universe–from the scientific Holy Grail of a “Theory of Everything”, all the way down to the ethical (moral) laws of daily living that create safe and stable societies.

For example, the “laws of motion” that Sir Isaac Newton formulated were his attempt to articulate the Logos (laws) of matter and the forces that act upon it.  In the realm of ethics, the Ten Commandments were an effort to articulate the Logos (laws) of human behavior that make for safe and stable societies.  With historical hindsight, we can say that both Newton’s laws and the Ten Commandments appear sound in most respects but less-so in others.  Yet few would dispute that both Newton and the author(s) of the Ten Commandments made valuable contributions to humanity’s understanding of the Logos in their respective fields (physics and ethics).

One advantage of the term Logos is that it’s self-evident that there’s an intrinsic order or set of laws governing the Universe.  It’s not a matter of faith or belief; it’s a scientific certainty.  We and everything in the Universe are beholden to these “higher powers” whether we believe in them or not.  Disbelieving the theory of gravity won’t enable you to jump off a high cliff without severe consequences.

And the Logos concept is perfectly compatible with religion as well.  In fact, the author of the Gospel of St. John adopted and used the term Logos to explain the Christian view of who Jesus was: “In the beginning was the Logos, and the Logos was with God, and the Logos was God.”  (John 1:1 – in the English translation, Logos is translated as “the Word”.)

Now there’s an idea!  God is the Logos–the observable order, law, or logic in the Universe.  Even Richard Dawkins could proclaim his devotion to such a God!

The Logos can be observed in the long arcs of human history.  For example, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. accurately observed: “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.”  We’re missing something big if we don’t stop and wonder: why has that long arc ultimately bent toward justice rather than injustice?

We see the same long arc in human history when it comes to the ethical values of love and compassion. In primitive and ancient societies, you had a duty to treat your fellow tribe members with love and compassion, but that duty did not extend to those outside one’s tribe.  You could rob, enslave, and kill those outside your tribe and still be considered a “moral person” within your tribe.  The parable of the Good Samaritan challenged that old idea, and re-defined the meaning of one’s “neighbor” (as in, “love thy neighbor as thyself”) to include every human being.  And some authors of scripture went so far as to proclaim that “God is love”.  (1 John 4:8.)  Today, we have global relief organizations that enable compassionate people on one side of the world to ship tons of food to strangers in need on the other side of the globe.  That’s a beautiful arc in human history.  Thank you, Logos.

What’s more, the Logos is embedded in each of us.  Charles Darwin is remembered for observing that living things are engaged in a struggle for “survival of the fittest”, but that was only part of what he said.  Darwin also observed that humans have instincts for love, compassion, and self-sacrificing altruism.  So it appears life is not just a struggle for survival of the fittest, but also, survival of the kindest.  (Thanks again, Logos.)

What are we to make of the fact that the instincts scientists have observed in humanity have resulted in long arcs in human history bending toward the ethical values encouraged by authors of ancient scripture?  To me, it shows that authors of ancient scripture and scientists who study human nature discovered the same thing: the Logos.

Appreciating the mind-blowing reality of the Logos is far more important than getting hung up on semantic disagreements about what to call it.  We’re sentient creatures made of star dust living on the surface of a giant spinning rock that is orbiting a star, and we are embedded with instincts that have resulted in our forming societies that have gradually trended toward greater justice and greater love.  For me, that’s a scientific observation that inspires what you might call religious awe or spiritual feelings.

So what do we make of this Logos that we’ve stumbled onto?  Is it God?  Is it the benevolent operating system of a material machine that has made our existence possible?  Is there any reason to assume those concepts must be mutually exclusive?

To be clear, I don’t mean to downplay or dismiss the conflict between religion and science.  Religion is a vestige of our primitive and ancient ancestors who were searching for the Logos but lacked our modern scientific methods and tools.  Lacking those, they were left to rely on what little they had: reason and speculation.  Sometimes they hit the bull’s eye, but sometimes unfounded speculations were canonized as divine truths.  And unfortunately, too many leaders of today’s religious institutions are willing to protect the public perception of their scriptures’ accuracy at all costs, even if that means attacking the very thing that has improved and extended the lives of human beings far more than anything else in recent centuries–modern science.  Fighting science is a losing battle that anyone with eyes to see can see.

But at the same time, the assertion that “God doesn’t exist” will never resonate with the lived experience of billions of people because there is in fact an observable Logos in the Universe and within ourselves.  And whether people realize it or not, that’s what they call “God”.  And these people cannot deny the existence of what they call God (the Logos) because they see it all around them and within themselves; it’s hard-wired in their DNA.  We humans have instincts for love, kindness, and compassion.  In times of crisis, we discover hidden inner reserves of strength, courage, and perseverance.  We have creative impulses that generate masterpieces of art, literature, architecture, and music.  We have inquisitive minds with great capacity for abstract thought and reasoning that enable us to land robots on distant planets.  So when you tell religious people that God doesn’t exist, you might as well be asking them to deny what they’re observing all around and within themselves–the Logos.

Maybe someday we’ll come up with a better way of talking about the Logos so we can stop talking past each other.  Until then, we’re stuck arguing about God.  And dancing about architecture.

Monday, 01 February 2016 / Published in Blog Archive, Healing, Inspiration, Philosophy, Spirituality

A reader recently posted a comment that really resonated with me, so much so that I had to write a post about it.  The comment was in response to John’s post asking readers what have been the most difficult aspects of transitioning away from Mormonism.  Here’s what reader “itscomplicated” had to say:

“Feeling I’ve been ‘Catfished’ by God. I had this longterm, committed relationship with a Mormon-version of God. Now that my Mormon belief system has crumbled, I feel like I don’t know the “real” God. And this disconnected feeling is happening at the worst time possible. It feels like my world is crumbling around me, and all I want is the peace that only the Lord can provide in moments of tumult. And I have no peace.”

I feel like I know exactly how that reader feels because I remember feeling that way all too well.

As a believing Mormon, I felt like I had a close relationship with God.  We used to talk all the time: driving in the car, sitting in a meeting, working in the garden, or reading my scriptures–whatever I was doing, there was usually a conversation between me and God running in the background of my mind.  He was always there when I needed to talk, and he often gave me good advice, encouragement, comfort, and helped me see solutions to my problems.  God and I were tight.

Then, one morning in October of 2006, I literally and figuratively woke up.  I had gone to bed the night before as a 100% believing Mormon with no serious doubts, and when I woke up I had this overwhelming sense that none of it was true.  None of it.  Including God.

My reaction to having my world unexpectedly turned upside down was to commit myself to rebuilding my testimony.  I had been effectively conditioned over decades to believe in Mormonism, and although I no longer felt like I had a testimony, my conditioning caused me to feel I had an obligation to rebuild one.  So that’s what I set out to do.  I doubled up on scripture reading, prayer, temple attendance, home teaching, fast offerings, tithing, and even volunteered to take on a second calling.

A few months into my testimony rebuilding efforts, two LDS friends who did not know each other told me over the same weekend that they no longer believed in Mormonism.  My reaction was instinctive: even though I no longer had a testimony, I felt an obligation to help them regain a testimony just as I was trying to do.  I listened to their concerns, all of which were intellectual and historical, and I decided to take it upon myself to find the answers to their questions and help steer them back onto the right path.

So began my foray into the hitherto unexplored (by me) territory of church history and, well, you can guess how that turned out.  The more I researched, the more I realized my friends had valid points.  And gradually, my mind became open to the idea that maybe the problem wasn’t with me and my friends, but with Mormonism.

I still remember vividly the final nail in the coffin of my hopes of rebuilding my testimony (the acknowledged date of authorship of the Egyptian papyrii that Joseph Smith said were written by Abraham), and how bad it felt when I learned about it (and in a FAIR publication of all places!).  It was like that night on Christmas Eve when I sneaked out of my room and saw my parents putting presents from Santa under the Christmas tree.  Although a part of me already suspected there wasn’t any Santa, it still felt bad when my suspicions were confirmed.  Discovering the truth about Santa made the world a less magical place, and I liked the magical world of childhood.  Learning the truth about the Book of Abraham was hard for the same reason.  Truth was forcing me to bid a final farewell to the magical thinking of my former perspective as a believing Mormon, and my heart still wasn’t ready for that.

After losing my faith in God and Mormonism, I felt such an intense sense of betrayal.  For a while I actually felt angry at God, and it’s embarrassing to admit how long it took me to recognize the absurdity of my being angry at someone I no longer believed existed.  The “Catfished” analogy is perfect for describing the betrayal you feel when you realize that the deity with whom you’ve had a lifelong, long-distance relationship doesn’t actually exist.

But fortunately, there truly is a bright side to the disillusionment.  When the disillusionment, grief, and anger subside, we’re ready for growth, maturity, and independence.  From our new perspective, we’re able to look back and recognize both the truths and the falsehoods in our former beliefs, and to be grateful for the role our former beliefs played as stepping stones in life.  For example, discovering Santa is your parents is usually disheartening and disillusioning for children, but presumably none of us is still angry and sad about it.  We’re not angry and sad about it anymore because we’ve grown up and matured.  And part of that maturation is coming to recognize the beautiful truth behind the Santa myth: that children have loving and generous adults in their lives that give them presents in Santa’s name.

The same thing goes with discovering your God doesn’t exist.  At first, it can be crushing; it can feel like you’ve lost a parent or a best friend.  But there’s also a beautiful truth standing behind the disillusionment: You are, you always were, and you always will be, your own God.

You might be inclined to dismiss that idea as blasphemous.  But maybe that’s because you don’t give yourself enough credit and never have.  Of course, it wouldn’t be your fault that you don’t give yourself enough credit, because you were taught from your early childhood that you, as you naturally are, are an “enemy to God”.  You were taught that you are even less than the dust of the Earth, because at least the dust obeys God.  You were taught that you were fallen, dirty, rebellious, unworthy, prideful, sinful, wicked, and a host of other negative labels.  In short, you were taught from your early childhood to have a negative self-image; you were taught to view yourself as being naturally defective.

And you were taught to believe in this guy called God, who you were told is Perfect.  And you were told He wanted you to be Perfect just like Him.  And you were told you could become Perfect–not on your own because you’ll never be good enough–through a Savior’s achievements.  And you were encouraged to develop a dependency on this God and this Savior, to look to them for a solution to your problems and “imperfections”.  And you were taught that if anything good comes into your life, God deserves the credit.  And you were taught that if you ever accomplish anything noteworthy, that’s only because God intervened and made up for your natural deficiency.

So it’s no surprise if you resist the idea that your whole life you’ve been your own Santa Claus putting spiritual gifts under your own Christmas tree without even realizing it.  You were conditioned for decades to think yourself incapable of thinking or doing anything great all on your own.

Just think back to when you’d prepare a lesson or talk for church.  Every now and then a really insightful idea would come into your mind–I mean a really good one, much better than average.  To whom did you give the credit for that idea?  God.  You called it “inspiration”.  And to whom did you give credit for your mediocre ideas?  Yourself.  But the truth is, all the good stuff you thought was too good to be coming from within yourself was coming from you.

You’re so much stronger, better, and more capable than you’ve ever imagined; you’ve just been trained your whole life not to see it, and to never give yourself credit for the many evidences of your innate strength and greatness.

Having been out of the LDS church for almost five years, looking back now on my 36 years within Mormonism I’ve come to see what I consider a very beautiful truth behind the Mormon myth in which I once believed so completely: that the person I developed such a close relationship with–God–was just my idea of my highest and best self.  My ideal self.  The person I wanted to be.

I came to realize that God was just an old religious word for my natural potential as a human being; calling me, pulling me toward itself, urging me to grow and develop.

That growth process has of course involved some intense growing pains, including the most painful of all: discovering that my God—an old white-haired, white-bearded white man sitting in his throne on a marble slab floating out in space–was just a myth.  But with that realization has come an exciting discovery: that I am stronger, better, and more capable than I was ever taught to believe I was; that I don’t need to look to some imaginary deity to help me solve my problems; that I am capable of bringing blessings into my own life, and into the lives of others, with good and loving thoughts, words, and actions.

One of the wonderful ironies of life is that the death of your belief in God ultimately opens your eyes to the fact that God has always been closer and more real than you ever imagined.  God isn’t a divine astronaut observing human affairs from some distant sector of outer-space.  God is, always has been, and always will be, as close as your own heart and mind.

Thursday, 28 January 2016 / Published in Blog Archive, Healing, Health & Wellness, Spirituality

Sweet Darkness by David Whyte

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

January has settled deep into our bones now. The chill of it. The bleakness. And yes, even the beauty of it all. It is a simplified view. Skeletal. Austere. We woke this morning to a thermometer reading 3 degrees. The darkness of the new day wrapped around our newly-awakened eyes like an unwelcome guest. The early dawn air and surroundings actually appear blue as we begin preparing breakfast for our not-so-little ones. We live in a frozen land. Hours later, the sun has emerged from behind the mountains, casting light beams through our windows. The snow sparkles like the glitter from a preschooler’s art kit. For the moment, I feel redeemed by the light.

What is it about winter? Particularly, the beginning months of each new year. The merriment and frenzy of December is long past. The days of January and February spread out before us like an open road. These days can feel empty for many of us. Long. Dark. Uncomfortable. Lonely. Quiet.

The world just feels different. Our hikes are filled with a new silence. All that surrounds us feels suspended in sleep. Noises of all kinds are absorbed by the thick blanket of snow. It covers all we see. Branches, rocks, mountain crevices, the underneaths of cliffs and trails. The trees look lifeless. They almost cease to move. The green lush hues of spring and summer and the rich foliage of fall are long gone here.

Nature has gone inside. Into the roots. To shore up. To strengthen from the inside out. When you think of planting bulbs in the fall (like tulips) — you plant them several inches below the ground. They actually need the cold and dark to prepare. They require months of this “shoring up” to be able to bloom in the spring. From the outside, the bulb looks as inactive and dormant as the winter trees. But in a few months from now, a green shoot will burst from that bulb and give way to most beautiful burst of color.

Are we as human beings so different? Could our burst of color reflect the internal work we do in the dark spaces of our winters (whether we are really speaking about the winter season or just our figurative winters)?

The darkness and cold of winter compel us back into our homes. It is the perfect time to return to our relationships with those we share space and time. And quite frankly, it is also the ideal time to reflect on our relationship with ourselves. Winter provides us the perfect space to go inside ourselves. To process our experiences. To give them life and meaning. To grieve our losses or little deaths. To count what has been born in those empty places. To nurture these new births.

To treat winter like the season of spring or summer is to shortchange ourselves the opportunity to grow ourselves at our roots. We can sleep more, write more, meditate more, express more, rest more, enjoy soulful books or movies, take long walks, confide more in our trusted and wise confidants, listen to music that resonates and sustains–in short, we can nourish ourselves. Shore up. Tend to our inside places. And take stock.

It can feel scary to head into the darkness of ourselves. To examine beliefs that might be limiting how we love other human beings in our life. Or become more aware of how we value or do not value ourselves. We can feel our sadnesses thoroughly–they often point to what may be missing or what we truly yearn for. We may finally see how different patterns of negative behavior stem from unhealed childhood wounds or unhealthy relationships. How do we heal that which remains in the dark? If our deeper selves remain cloaked in the darkness, we live in an unaware state, and are controlled or burdened by unconscious thoughts.

We must be willing to face the dark. Period.

I wish you time to shore up. To feel and heal. To nourish yourself at your roots. Do not fear the darkness. It is where the wisdom of your story lies. Go deep. You are worth it.

Tuesday, 26 January 2016 / Published in Healing
“People are more important than beliefs” is The Oasis Network motto, and I really like it.
 

But something I have to constantly remind myself (as someone who leans more secular these days)….is the following,

“People are more important than NON-beliefs.”

 
In other words, just because I no longer believe in the supernatural, this does not give me the right to treat believers with disrespect…which I have a constant “pull” to do….either directly, or indirectly.
 
Of all the damaging things I learned through my religion, I think that perhaps the most pernicious of all is the idea that there is only one “true” path.
 

That idea is so…incredibly….pernicious…and it follows me almost wherever I go these days as a non-religious person.

I was a missionary as a Mormon, and now I find myself constantly judging non-secular people as inferior.  If I ever put down my righteous indignation to think about this….it makes.  Me.  Sick.

 
For me it was relatively easy to stop believing in Joseph Smith, or exclusive authority. What has been infinitely more difficult to shed is the idea that my way is the only way, or the best way.
 
My (secular) prayer today is that I can someday truly lose this one belief that I now see as being the most pernicious of all beliefs….and not necessarily unique to religion AT ALL.
 
And if there is a “one true path” – I will tell you what that path is: that path is love. Call it a cliche, but I KNOW it to be true.  Just.  Love.  People.  Unconditionally.  And.  Treat.  Them.  With.  Respect.
 
May I constantly work to never forget this.
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